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What Are The Best Dating Apps For Serious Relationships? We Tested Them To Find Out
As someone on the hunt for a serious relationship, I'm a huge fan of dating apps. They've become more than just dating platforms. They've revolutionized the way people meet and connect.
But as much as I love the apps, I also know they can be a one-way ticket to another situationship when used incorrectly.
Eager to cut through the chaos of online dating, I went straight to dating experts for their recommendations of the best dating apps for serious relationships—and then I downloaded each and every one for firsthand testing.
My goal was to swipe on every suggested app and go on at least one date (though that final step proved harder for some apps).
From there, I curated my final list of the very best dating apps for those seeking long-term commitment like myself.
Below find my final picks, plus my first-hand experience with each app.
Testing process
My testing process started with speaking to couples' therapists and dating experts for recommendations. I asked them to share which dating apps their clients found the most success on for something serious.
Ideally, these dating apps all had an active user base, reputation for fostering long-term love, and a wide variety of interests to suit different people's preferences and unique needs.
Once I curated a list of apps to test, I downloaded each one and swiped with potential partners (always aiming to go on at least one date).
Full transparency: I already had quite a few of these apps downloaded, including a few that I've been using for years.
When apps were catered to different demographics—like the LGBTQ+ community or specific religions—I connected with other testers to get their feedback on the apps.
This ensured I got feedback from the people who actually use the app rather than inferring my own opinions.
Why we picked eHarmony
You won't be surprised to find eHarmony earning a top spot in many of our roundups, and rightfully so. The esteemed dating app features a lengthy (but thorough!) questionnaire that sets it apart from its competitors.
While some users find the questionnaire too long, the app was purposefully made this way to eliminate potential members who weren't serious about finding a true partner.
Furthermore, the app's sophisticated matching algorithm ensures that users are matched based on deep-rooted compatibility factors such as your degree of closeness in a relationship or how you see the world, and encourages folks to invest time in thorough profiles and in-depth personality assessments.
The company also claims to be responsible for 4% of marriages in the U.S., according to couples' therapist Kyle Zrenchik, Ph.D., LMFT, ACS.
We attribute this to the comprehensive sign-up process, which is bound to weed out people who are not looking for something serious.
Pros & cons
Pros & cons
Pros
- Extremely thorough matching process
- Compatibility scores for every potential match
- Lower risk of time wasters
- Large active user base
- Detailed profiles
Cons
- Almost no capability with free membership
- Many people still don't have detailed profiles
- Takes a long time to set up
My personal experience
My personal experience
As someone who has been looking for a serious relationship for several years, it was exciting to see a dating app with so much success matching singles. When I signed up for the app, however, I struggled with the quiz. I couldn’t relate to the majority of questions they asked.
For example, one of the quiz questions is “What makes you most interested in someone?” The multiple choice answers were their career, financial security, health and fitness, warm-heartedness, or appearance, and I was required to pick two.
While I can see how these are important elements for finding a long term partner for some people, they aren’t for me.
Warm-heartedness was my first choice, but I couldn’t choose another as they all focus on external factors instead of getting to know someone on the inside, which is what’s important for me.
Additionally, the activities they list, such as sailing, equestrian, shooting, and cricket, among others, also are not relatable for me. I don’t do any of these activities, and the things I do really enjoy, like slacklining, for example, are not listed (and there isn’t an option to write them in).
Lastly, you have to report your income in the quiz, which doesn’t sit right for me as an element they use to determine who I’m compatible with.
Overall, the app feels geared toward traditional relationships and values. If these interests, values, and questions are important relationship criteria for you, however, this app could be a great fit.
In our full eHarmony review, our testers felt it was a solid pick for those who were ready to "financially invest in finding a serious relationship," especially if other options simply aren't working for you.
Cost
Cost
- 6 months: $359 ($59.84 per month)
- One year: $388 ($32.25 per month)
- 2 years: $699 ($29.13 per month)
Why we picked Match
As one of the oldest dating sites to grace the web, Match has accumulated a user base of over 30 million people, and we're not surprised. The dating app has facilitated over 517,000 relationships, culminating in 92,000 marriages.
The company's mission is simple: To help singles find the kind of relationship they're looking for, as the website states.
When registering, users must fill out a detailed questionnaire that includes basic questions like who you're seeking (men or women), what your average match looks like, and your favorite hobbies.
The more the better in this case, as the more detailed you are when setting up your profile, the better your matches will be.
Its interface is fairly simple to use and you can see all your matches and chat conversations on both the app and website.
Pros & cons
Pros & cons
Pros
- The OG dating site
- Price means everyone is serious
- Can effectively filter out qualities you're not interested in
- One-on-ones with dating experts
- User friendly interface
Cons
- Have to pay to get anything out of it
My personal experience
My personal experience
Upon creating a profile on Match, it was clear the site was geared toward serious relationships. While this is aligned with what I’m looking for, the app does not have features to filter for my specific relationship needs.
For example, when asked your relationship status, the options are “definitely single,” “divorced,” or “widowed.” In fact, the app specifically states “no ‘it's complicated’ allowed.”
While I understand the intention is trying to weed out people who might be in the middle of a divorce or break-up, I wish there was an option for non-monogamous daters.
I’m looking for what I’d call a serious relationship: Marriage and someone to start a family with, but I’m still interested in an open relationship—and Match is not geared toward this.
There were a few unique features I did thoroughly enjoy about Match. You can filter users by distance from a specific chosen location, as opposed to your current location. At the time I made my account, I was visiting family outside of my home city.
I want to date someone locally, so it was nice that I could still chat and look at profiles of people near my home, even though I didn’t happen to be there at that moment.
Since I visit my family regularly, this quickly becomes a convenient feature, however, I probably will delete Match because it doesn’t have options for non monogamy.
Cost
Cost
Standard Membership
- One month: $44.99
- 6 months: $118.99 ($19.84/month)
Premium Membership
- 3 months: $116.99 ($39/month)
- 6 months: $129.99 ($21.67/month)
Why we picked OurTime
It features a user-friendly interface to make it easy for older individuals to navigate and features notable features, like in-depth profiles and personalized match connections.
Unlike other dating apps, users aren't required to fill out a comprehensive questionnaire. OurTime has taken a more casual approach and only requires users to fill out a simple "About me" section for their profile. The app will then make suggestions based on the user's profile.
“Catering to singles over 50, OurTime offers a platform for mature individuals seeking serious relationships with people in a similar life stage,” explains Lilithfoxx.
For many, sharing something in common, like being in the same stage of life, is one of the most important elements for building a long-term relationship.
On dating apps geared toward all ages, it can be frustrating to see predominantly younger users who don’t share your interests or values, making it difficult to connect on a deeper level and be compatible in the long term.
“The primary focus of this service is user-friendliness, and it is possible to have a free account with success in finding matches. Though, the paid accounts are reasonable in cost,” says Lilithfoxx.
Pros & cons
Pros & cons
Pros
- Designed for people over 50
- Reputation for finding love, not just hookups
- More affordable than other paid dating sites
- Hosts community events
- Desktop version is easy to use
- Several gender identity options
Cons
- Dated interface
- If you’re nonbinary, your profile can only be shown to members seeking men or members seeking women
My personal experience
My personal experience
Since I’m not 50 or over, I spoke with a friend who tried OurTime, and she said her favorite part of OurTime is that most of the users she saw had written a bio— there weren’t many blank profiles.
Not just that, but people also described themselves in their own voice, which she said helped her connect with them.
My friend also commented on how much she likes the prompts users respond to on their profile, such as “I once got in trouble for” and “a secret only my pets know about me” or “if loving this is wrong, I don’t want to be right.”
She was, however, disappointed that even though her preferences were set to “interested in everyone,” she was shown almost all men, and very few women.
Additionally, one of the first questions the app asks when creating your profile is your height and body type, which she says made her comfortable.
Cost
Cost
Subscription starts at $20 per month and increases depending on the payment plan.
Why we picked OkCupid
Because it's free. But seriously, OkCupid is one of the best dating apps for serious relationships due to its unique algorithm. It was created by Harvard graduates as the first free online dating website.
Now, OkCupid is the sixth most downloaded dating app in the world, with 70 million user as of 2023. And the best part, as aforementioned? It's free.
Even further, over the years, OkCupid has created an inclusive experience for app users, providing more options than most dating apps for gender, sexuality, and more for users to share their authentic self.
If having shared values with your long-term partner is a top priority for you, OkCupid is the app to be on. Their tagline “match on what matters” pretty much says it all.
This app asks you detailed questions about your interests, relationship preferences, as well as things like your political views and world outlook, and connects you with like minded users.
The app even asks questions like “could you date someone who doesn’t vote?” and then allows you to rate the importance of this question from “a little” to “very.”
On other apps, it can take several dates to even scratch the surface of your values and political views.
OkCupid, on the other hand, puts these questions front and center so you can get your deal breakers out of the way, before you even spend time or money going on a date.
Pros & cons
Pros & cons
Pros
- Free version works great
- 20+ sexual orientations and 12+ gender identity options
- Option for monogamy or non monogamy
- Can be used on a mobile device or computer
Cons
- Need to answer a lot of questions to get the most out of it
- Mobile app makes it challenging to see user’s entire profile
Personal experience
Personal experience
Out of all the apps I tried, OkCupid is hands down my favorite dating app for serious relationships. Since creating a profile, it’s the app I check the most and had the most successful dates with.
During the sign-up process, OkCupid asks so many detailed questions, making it much easier to find someone who I’m actually compatible with while I’m still on the app, as opposed to learning basic information on a date.
While other dating apps like Match.com and eharmony do ask you to answer a long, detailed list of questions, OkCupid’s questions are far more relatable for me.
Not just that, but on OkCupid, you have several opportunities to actually write-in your answers to questions, as opposed to choosing from a set list of hobbies or prompts.
I found myself much more likely to go on dates with people from OkCupid because I can actually get to know people through their profiles.
I also love that there are so many options for you to describe your gender, sexuality, or other parts of your identities that a lot of other dating apps lack. One of the features I liked the most was the options for non monogamy.
If you’re non monogamous, you can actually choose if you’re looking for someone who is single, partnered, or married. I really liked this because while I’m non monogamous, I am not looking for someone who is not partnered or married right now.
I want to find a primary partner to build a family with, who is also interested in having an open relationship now or in the future.
The only thing that I don’t like about OkCupid is that you have to click through several steps to get to someone’s entire profile.
Price
Price
OkCupid has tiered pricing:
- Tier 1: Free
- Basic: from $45/month
- Premium: from $55/month
Why we picked Bumble
One of our favorite things about Bumble is its unique approach to fostering serious relationships—women make the first move. Per Lilithfoxx, this process "fosters a more respectful and intentional communication environment, which can be conducive to forming serious relationships."
Another unique feature of Bumble is the timing aspect. Your connection has 24 hours to respond to the opening message before the match expires.
This establishes a sense of urgency to engage in conversation rather than waiting for weeks or even months.
Overall, we picked Bumble as one of the best dating apps for serious relationships because the app's comprehensive structure grants its women users a lot of control over how online dating interactions will go.
Clinical psychologist, Harpreet Kaur Chattha, explains that “Since people are communicating online, they may take more liberties or cross limits more quickly than they do in person, making it feel uncomfortable or threatening for users, especially women.”
Apps like Bumble that give women control of the initial reaction can create a safer, more conducive space to building the kind of connection necessary for a serious relationship.
Pros & cons
Pros & cons
Pros
- Relatively detailed profiles
- Attractive interface
- Free version works great
- Women send first message when dating men
Cons
- Not everyone likes the "women message first" system
- You only have 24 hours to message a match
Personal experience
Personal experience
I’ve been on Bumble for years and my favorite thing about this app is that women send the first message when you’re dating men. This has both made me feel much safer and limited invasive and rude comments, but it’s also reduced dating app fatigue.
It’s far less exhausting because I’m not sifting through messages from random people I’m not interested in. I’m only having conversations with people that I actually want to talk to.
I also love that Bumble has unique prompts, like “I’ll get along with you if…” or “I’m still not over…” Thinking of opening messages can be exhausting, and when people have fun, quirky facts about themselves, I’m much more likely to build a connection with them and potentially go on a date.
With that being said, I also see a lot of men on Bumble putting the bare minimum into their profiles. I was surprised by how many profiles I saw that barely had a bio or didn’t answer any prompts.
Success story
Success story
Price
Price
The free version of Bumble does the trick, but you can pay to unlock more features if you wish.
Why we picked Hinge
At least five members of our editorial team have found their long-term partner on Hinge—and it's an attests to the apps's research-backed matchmaking.
The Hinge Labs team bridges relationship, emotion, and behavioral science with user experience research, business intelligence analytics, and data science to unlock insights about love and dating, the website states.
We also picked Hinge because the app does a great job of offering prompts to spark unique conversation, and it brings profiles to life a bit more than those that are solely photo-based.
If you're tired of swiping left and right, these profiles give you more substance.
Plus, finding a serious relationship on dating apps can take time; many people quickly burn out from the tedious process of thinking of creative intro-lines and greetings.
Hinge cuts down decision-fatigue by giving you creative prompts to respond to and more opportunities to share your personality with daters.
Pros & cons
Pros & cons
Pros
- Attractive interface
- Several free features
- Profiles are designed to build connections over shared interests, not just appearance
- Queer friendly
Cons
- Expensive premium version
- Limited number of daily swipes on free version
My personal experience
My personal experience
Similar to Bumble and OkCupid, I’ve found Hinge to be one of the best apps for getting to know people’s personalities and starting conversations with daters.
I love that users can like one of my photos or comments and also tell me why they liked it. It’s far more engaging.
The app itself is simple and easy to use, and while Hinge might not be as well known as apps like eharmony or Match for serious relationships, I found it easy to filter for compatibility by simply swiping left on anyone who didn’t specify that they’re looking for a serious relationship.
Cost
Cost
Hinge has tiered subscriptions
- Basic: Free
- Hinge+: $30/month
- HingeX: $50/month or $600/year
Why we picked Her
If you’re queer, trans, or nonbinary, you’re likely well aware of how hard it can be to find dating platforms and spaces that are designed specifically for you, instead of as an afterthought.
Even though most dating apps say they’re for “everyone”, the structure and features often are centered around straight relationships.
“Designed for LGBTQ+ women, HER provides a safe and inclusive space for those seeking serious relationships with like-minded individuals,” says Lilithfoxx.
We chose HER because the app creates a welcoming space for the LGBTQIA community. Research shows that individuals who identify as gay, bisexual, queer, same-gender-loving, or another non-heterosexual identity have experienced discrimination1 on dating apps.
So having a secure haven like HER becomes crucial, offering a refuge from potential prejudice and fostering a sense of belonging. And that's just one of many reasons why we included the dating app on our list.
We also picked HER because the app features an 'Add Friend' option for individuals newly navigating their identity, providing a space to build connections before diving into the dating pool.
Pros & cons
Pros & cons
Pros
- Designed specifically for queer people
- Hosts community events
- Interest-based searching
- Large user base
Cons
- Have to pay to unlock unlimited swipes
- Not for queer cis men
My personal experience
My personal experience
While I didn’t try HER myself, I spoke to a few friends who did— we’ll call them Amara and Emma to keep their anonymity. Amara and Emma agreed on their favorite features of the app, but had mixed reviews otherwise. They love that with the free HER subscription, you can actually view everyone who likes you. “It makes the process speedier if you don't feel like swiping through people” says Emma. And Amara agreed, “I haven’t seen this feature for free on another app. It’s nice.”
Amara added that she had a small dating pool in her area, which may be a result of living in a small rural town. While Emma didn’t have an issue with the number of people, she did get an overwhelming number of unnecessary notifications and there are several features she can’t access without a subscription. “I can’t set ANY preferences without premium so it’s a lot of labor in comparison to other apps.”
Even though this app is designed specifically for queer people, Emma says “I see all of the same people oh HER as I do other apps, so it doesn’t have much use to be honest.”
Cost
Cost
HER is free, and offers a Premium membership for $15 per month.
Why we picked Jdate
“As a niche dating app for Jewish singles, JDate helps users connect with potential partners who share their cultural background and values, which can be important for long-term compatibility,” Lilithfoxx explains.
In terms of the platform itself, Jdate allows you to filter daters by keyword searches, new matches, if users are currently online, and how far users are from you.
Although it's a niche dating site, we included JDate on our list simply because it's the number one online dating platform catering to the specific needs of the Jewish community.
The app has facilitated thousands of romantic relationships, friendships, and marriages since its inception in 1997. According to the company website, JDate is "responsible for more Jewish marriages than all other dating sites combined." And we're not surprised.
The app puts an emphasis on shared values and cultural background, encouraging users to be associated with the Jewish faith.
Whether Judaism is a significant part of your everyday life or not, this app can help you connect with people who have shared values and perspectives.
“In my experience, both professionally and personally, more niche dating services such as JDate…tend to yield more successful results for users. Users know that they share at least one value with all of the other users on the platform, thus saving some emotional labor having to search for someone in a larger and more broad dating pool” Lilithfoxx says.
Pros & cons
Pros & cons
Pros
- Proven success with marriage
- Specifically designed for Jewish singles
- Several free features
Cons
- Extremely basic interface
- Only options for gender identity are man and woman
- Only options for who you’re seeking is either men or women
My personal experience
My personal experience
After creating a profile on JDate, I was surprised by how few people were in my area— there were typically only four to ten people online at the same time as me.
I did, however, really like that you can define your Judaism. I chose “culturally Jewish” to describe myself and listed the same for who I’m looking for.
This is big for me because the way someone practices Judaism can vary so much from person to person and also impacts who you’re compatible with.
I was disappointed that it didn’t look like people put much effort into their profiles. Most of the profiles I saw were blank or daters had barely written anything. The app sort of felt like a desert.
This could, however, be a result of few culturally Jewish people in my area, and my radius was only set to 10 miles. I think the results might be different for someone with different dating preferences.
Cost
Cost
Subscription starts at $30 per month and increases based on the number of months you subscribe for.
Comparing the best dating apps for serious relationships
Product | Price | Compatibility | Free option | Use on |
---|---|---|---|---|
eharmony | From $66/month | IOS; Android | No | Mobile App; Desktop Site |
Match.com | From $22/month | IOS; Android | No | Mobile App; Desktop Site |
OurTime | From $0/month | IOS; Android | Yes | Mobile App; Desktop Site |
OkCupid | From $0/month | IOS; Android | Yes | Mobile App |
Bumble | From $0/month | IOS; Android | Yes | Mobile App |
Hinge | From $0/month | IOS; Android | Yes | Mobile App |
HER | From $30/month | IOS; Android | Yes | Mobile App; Desktop Site |
Jdate | From $30/month | IOS; Android | Yes | Mobile App; Desktop Site |
Discover more dating apps: Online Dating Tips For Seniors
How to choose the right dating app for you
The dating market has really exploded exponentially over the last few years, and therefore you have a lot of options to choose from—which can feel a bit overwhelming.
Zrenchik recommends Googling to see which dating sites and apps are most popular in the region where you live and also to even try Googling an important aspect of your identity or a favorite interest plus "dating app" to see if there are any apps that cater specifically to people like you.
You can also use the following questions to help you figure out which app might be best for you:
- What am I looking for, and which dating app best reflects this?
- What does my budget for dating look like right now?
- Am I willing to pay for a site beyond a trial period, and how much am I willing to pay?
- Am I good at answering questions about myself?
- Am I good at showcasing my personality mainly through words or through pictures?
- Do I only want to date someone who shares my religion?
- Do I want to know a lot about someone before I meet up with them, or do I prefer more of a mystery?
- Do I have the time to answer an in-depth questionnaire about myself?
- Do I want to use an app that's geared specifically toward LGBTQ people?
How to successfully navigate dating apps when you’re looking for a serious relationship
Be descriptive in your profile
When you write your bio, don’t keep to a word limit. The more you share about yourself, the easier it is to build connections. It’s challenging for a user to start a conversation or find something in common with you if there’s barely anything in their profile.
Being descriptive of yourself and showing your personality on your profile gives other users more opportunity to send you interesting messages and create a connection.
Get clear about what you’re looking for
While you may already know you’re looking for a serious relationship, get clear on what qualities you’re looking for in a partner and what you want your relationship to look like. This will save you time while filtering through potential matches and allows you to be clear about your expectations upfront.
While for some people setting hard boundaries about what you do and don’t want can feel as though it limits the dating pool, in the long-run, this will help you find someone you’re actually compatible with.
Invest in the most meaningful conversations
I have limited time and boring conversations starting with “hi” or a “like” on my photo I’ve honestly found to be a waste of time. I now only invest in conversations with people who actually make an effort to send me a thoughtful message, or at the bare minimum say something like “how are you?”
There are so many people who send me a message that clearly indicate they haven’t read my profile and what I’m looking for. We only have so much energy, don’t spend it on people who haven’t even read your bio.
Choose the apps you feel the best on
I actually enjoyed creating my profile, answering questions, and swiping through users on some apps. On other apps, however, I felt frustrated or struggled to relate to other users. And guess what? I went on the most dates from apps that I actually liked using.
Dating itself can be challenging, add using an app you don’t, and it’s going to be far worse. Use the dating apps that you enjoy the most.
What makes a dating site better for serious relationships than others?
Dating sites that require a fee, like eharmony or Match.com, can be more conducive to serious relationships than free ones, according to couples and sex therapist Kyle Zrenchik.
After all, people can find hookups easily for free, so being willing to pay indicates a dedication to something more.
ltimately, what makes the most difference as to whether an app or site is good for a serious relationship is what you yourself are willing to put into the experience.
Finding a serious relationship online requires a lot of vulnerability, energy, and intention. “Ultimately, the effectiveness of any dating app for finding a serious relationship depends on the users' intentions, communication, and willingness to invest time in the process,” says sexologist, LIlithfoxx.
Discover more dating apps: Her Dating App Review
How dating apps can help you find a serious relationship
Per Lilithfoxx, certain apps can help you find a serious relationship by providing “access to a larger pool of potential partners than one might encounter in everyday life.
“[These apps] allow users to filter their preferences and engage in conversations with individuals who share similar interests and goals.
You no longer have to go through the whole song and dance of meeting a person, approaching them, starting a conversation, and getting to the point where you are able to discuss values and assess compatibility,” she explains.
Online dating is so much easier for me when I utilize the right apps and features and put a bit more time into creating my profile and vetting potential matches.
With all the challenges that can come with dating, apps can make it much easier to meet new people and quickly understand whether or not you’re compatible with them.
Insider Tip:
How your dating life impacts your longevity
While dating may not be top of mind when you consider factors that impact your well-being, social connection plays a larger role in longevity than you might think.
In fact, one recent study from 2023 indicated a direct correlation between loneliness and cognitive decline4. When used with intention, dating apps can be a great way to bring connection into your life, thereby enhancing your well-being and improving your longevity.
FAQ
What dating app has the most successful relationships?
Eharmony is known for over two million people that have connected and fallen in love on their site. However, eharmony is specifically for men or women looking for a monogamous relationship, and typically caters toward more traditional relationships.
The most successful dating sites for all kinds of relationships are OkCupid and Match.
Which free dating site is best for serious relationships?
OkCupid, Hinge, or Bumble are all good choices for free dating apps where you're likely to find people looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right rather than Mr. or Mrs. Just-for-tonight.
What is the most successful dating site for men?
Bumble is a place where men can really thrive, as the "woman has to message first" feature evens the playing field and encourages a rethink of traditional gender roles—something that many women really appreciate.
Do paid dating sites work better?
Sometimes people need to put their money where their mouth is, as Hartman notes, and it's certainly the case that it can be worth paying for those who want something more substantial than a one-night stand.
However, it just takes meeting that one special someone, and that can absolutely happen on one of the free dating apps.
What is the best free app for marriage?
The best free app for marriage depends on what you’re looking for in a partner, however there are a few apps that offer the most features for free.
OkCupid has robust settings on their free subscription, and apps like Bumble and Hinge do too.
Which dating site is best for serious relationships?
The best dating site for serious relationships depends on what you’re looking for in a partner and how you build connections with people.
If you have more traditional relationship values, dating sites such eharmony and Match.com might be best for you. If having shared values with your partner and getting to know their personality is your priority, OkCupid, Bumble, or Hinge might be a better fit.
The takeaway
While looking for a serious relationship can be challenging, dating apps can make finding a long-term relationship easier.
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