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5 Best Dating Apps For Introverts To Find A Connection
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Dating is overwhelming for anyone, but introverts have an added challenge. Social settings can drain their battery, making it harder to meet that special someone.
Instead of giving up on love—or lust—the best dating apps for introverts can ease the burden of finding a connection. These apps allow you to swipe and match from a safe environment like your couch.
What's more, our best dating app for introverts never put on a time-limit on chatting with a potential match. After all, we know it's important for introverts to be in the right headspace to chat with someone new.
- Best for serious relationships: eHarmony
- Best for a smaller dating pool: Coffee Meets Bagel
- Best for working professionals: The League
- Best for 40+: Match
- Best for hookups: Tinder
Do introverts use dating apps?
Yes. Surveys show that 30% of adults use dating apps, and that number increases to over 50% when looking at younger demographics or people in the LGBTQ+ community.
“I think more people are meeting on dating apps these days, then not on dating apps,” says therapist and clinical psychologist Chloe Carmichael, PhD. You'll find apps curated to single parents, people over 50, and even working professionals.
In fact, dating apps might actually be preferential to introverts, who would rather meet someone one-on-one than in a crowded space, like a bar or party.
- Active User Base: You can’t meet someone on an app if there isn’t anyone to meet. We stuck with established dating apps with notable user bases to ensure you’re not waiting for your next potential match to populate.
- Introvert-friendly: Endless swiping isn’t alway the best option for introverts. We sought out unique algorithms that offer inventive ways to help you discover prospects beyond swiping for looks—and never require you to start a convo in a short period of time.
- Experts & tester feedback: We used a combination of expert recommendations, first-hand experience, and reviews to curate the best selection for introverts.
- Variety: When looking for love, you want someone who shares your interests and values. Every app has a set audience, so find the one that aligns with what you want in a partner: romance, casual dating, or something in between.
The best dating apps for introverts
One of our favorite dating sites for serious relationships, eharmony is a great choice for introverts who know they are looking for something real.
Couples' therapist Kyle Zrenchik, Ph.D., LMFT, ACS previously told mindbodygreen that eHarmony claims to be responsible for 4% of marriages in the U.S., which is a huge number all things considered.
What we love about ebarmony is that it weeds out a lot of people who aren't serious about dating (AKA potential time wasters).
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The site does this by boasting a comprehensive questionnaire for every user, outlining your likes, dislikes, and values with over 80 questions. From there, you'll be paired with potential matches (each of which comes with a compatibility score).
If this sounds intense, that's because it is. The signup process will take at least 20 minutes—but many users find the time spent to be well worth it, considering the fact that you'll be given access to a pool of people who are actually looking for a relationship, and who care enough to take a few extra minutes.
The only major downside? You'll need a paid membership to get the best experience, as pretty much every feature on the app is blurred out without one.
Read our full eHarmony review to learn about our testers' experiences with the app.
Pros & Cons
Pros & Cons
- Extremely thorough matching process
- Compatibility scores for every potential match
- Lower risk of time wasters
- Almost no capability with free membership
- Many people still don't have detailed profiles
- Takes a long time to set up
Cost
Cost
Prices start at $60/month for the most affordable membership and drop down to $30/month for the biggest bundle. Memberships are available in 6, 12, or 24 month increments.
Previously recommended to us by marriage therapist Omar Ruiz, LMFT, Coffee Meets Bagel is a great option for those who don’t want to spend all day swiping around an app.
You’re only given a handful of prospects each day, which refresh every 24 hours. You’ll have limited time to send a like or make a match, which makes CBM like a fun daily game. Once matched, chats are limited to just seven days with options to text or video chat.
Creating an account is easy, and while there is no bio section, there are tons of different prompts to get you to talk about yourself.
Along with your general information you can also add relationship goals, personality traits—like introversion—and values you have that you want to share with a potential partner.
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Switch between swiping on people suggested for you, and those who’ve already liked your profile. Or if you are looking for something specific, the app’s search feature allows you to sort by age, distance, religion, education level, and ethnicity.
The rapid push towards meet-ups may not be ideal for restrained introverts. But we think it’s a great option for thinking introvert: fewer matches make you feel overwhelmed and less time to overthink your next date.
Pros & Cons
Pros & Cons
- Encourages meeting in person while still allowing ample time to chat
- Free version works great
- Limited amount of matches per day
- Skews towards a younger crowd
Cost
Cost
There are free, mini, and premium subscriptions. The mini and premium deals can be purchased in 1-, 3-, or 6-month packages. Mini deals range from $15 to $50, while premium is $35 to $120.
Launched in 1995, Match is one of the oldest existing dating sites—though the brand has since developed an app. Similar to eHarmony, it caters to an older demographic, making it one of the best dating sites for people over 40.
Match is known for having a longer setup process to better figure out who you are (and who your best match might be). It allows more than 20 photos and includes a lengthy bio section to showcase your full personality.
When you sign up, you also fill out an extensive questionnaire. The lengthy sign-up is one of the reasons we consider Match one of the best options for serious daters who are ready to be committed.
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Once signed up, you'll have a few ways to find potential matches. Along with swiping, Match has a comprehensive search system.
Reverse Search allows users to see people whose preferences match yours, while Mutual Search results in people who match your preferences and whose preferences you match.
When you find a potential connection, you'll have the choice to chat or video call within the app, if you're worried about privacy. Need to know more? Check out our full Match.com review.
Pros & Cons
Pros & Cons
- Weeds out people who aren’t committed
- One-on-one time with dating experts
- Requires a lot of effort
- Fewer active users than other apps
Cost
Cost
There are free, standard, and premium plans that range in 3- to 6-month subscriptions. Rates start at $34.45 for a 3-month standard subscription to $23.11 a month for a yearly premium subscription.
The League
Featured in our round-up of the best dating apps for working professionals, The League is the perfect midway between LinkedIn and Tinder.
Best for those who want to avoid decision overload, it only offers a few potential connections every day between 5 to 6 p.m. (otherwise known as happy hour in the working world).
If both parties are interested in connecting, you'll get 30 days to chat directly in the app. If you prefer to connect over conversation (instead of messaging), you can partake in a weekly speed dating process on the app.
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You'll get to connect with others from any safe environment, taking the pressure off going to a new location with a strange.
The app also offers curate events for users, though these may not be the apps best offering for introverts. We'd also note there is a waiting list for this app, though you can skip the wait for a small fee.
Pros & Cons
Pros & Cons
- Weeds out people who aren’t serious about dating
- Matches you with people who are ambitious about their career
- Filters out work colleagues
- Wait list required to join app (can pay to skip line)
- Has been described at elitist
- Complaints of lack of diversity
Cost
Cost
The League offers three membership tiers: a Member subscription for $299.99/month, an Owner subscription for $399.99/month, and an Investor subscription for $999.99/month.
Being introverted doesn't necessarily mean you're not interested in a no-strings-attached meetup—and Tinder is the standard option for a quick fling. (Though we'd be remiss not to mention you can find a serious relationship here, too, with the right filters and approach).
Tinder practically invented the swipe-to-like model, and setting up a profile is beyond simple.
While the app does seem to be male-heavy (which makes matching much simpler for women), most users will be able to find success for hookups or casual dates.
We think the sheer overflow of users on Tinder makes it a great option for even the shyest people to put themselves out there, as it's pretty easy to start a new conversation and has a noticeably lighthearted tone.
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Deemed a great option for "singles who were looking to have 100 conversations" by Jamal, there's no doubt that you'll find some new experiences on this app. Just be sure you have a few good opening lines prepared.
Pros & Cons
Pros & Cons
- Most used dating app in the world
- Easy to find matches quickly
- Users can get a little creepy and invasive
- Hard to talk to some users
Cost
Cost
Tinder's free version works fine, but there is also Tinder+ for $7.99 a month, Tinder Gold for $24.99, and Tinder Platinum for $29.99.
Comparing our top picks
Product | Primary age demographic | Premium membership cost | App store rating | Compatibility |
---|---|---|---|---|
eharmony | 30-49 | From $60/month | 4 | IOS; Android |
Coffee Meets Bagel | 30-49 | From $15/month | 4.5 | IOS; Android |
Match.com | 30-49 | From $46/month | 3.8 | IOS; Android |
The League | 25-34 | From $300/month | 4.1 | IOS; Android |
Tinder | 18-30 | From $20/month | 3.8 | IOS; Android |
What is an introvert?
Identifying as an introvert depends on your energy source. While extroverts gain energy through being around and interacting with other people, introverts recharge and gain energy from spending time alone.
This doesn’t mean that introverts aren’t social or don’t enjoy going out around others, rather they need extra time processing experiences afterwards.
“Introverts can get overstimulated very easily just by being around people,” says dating expert Silvy Khoucasian. “There's this experience of wanting to reserve that energy level.”
Experts have identified four main introversion types: social, thinking, anxious, and restrained. Each one impacts social interactions differently, which can impact the right dating app for you.
Understanding your introversion type will ensure you’re finding the right way to connect with potential partners. It’ll also help you better understand yourself and what you’re looking for in a partner (whether short-term or long-term).
- Social Introverts: Feels most comfortable in small groups and requires alone time to recharge, especially in relationships. Experts recommend online dating and suggest skipping the small talk by going to places they enjoy with potential partners.
- Thinking Introverts: Thinks before speaking, which may come off as standoffish . When dating, experts say thinking introverts should be upfront about their introversion to ensure it doesn’t come across as disinterest.
- Anxious Introverts: Likely avoids social interactions with a quiet disposition that comes across as nervous. Experts suggest staying in your comfort zone and seeking out people vetted by close connections.
- Restrained Introvert: Tend to be reserved around others with a more grounded energy. This reserved approach to love requires time to open up and should be shared with future partners.
Regardless of your introversion type, Khoucasian recommends that you take extra time to process things to ensure dating stays enjoyable.
Top dating tips for introverts
Dating is a numbers game—and we fully believe the more you use apps and go on dates, the more comfortable you'll be. Below, find a few expert-backed ways to bring more success into your dating life:
Make sure your profile is in tip-top shape: “I have a client that just sent me a bunch of her profile screenshots, and I'm gonna go over them with her to really see like, is this profile really capturing the essence of this person as best as possible, right? Are the pictures really capturing the range of emotions that you're able to express?” says Khoucasian.
Meet as soon as possible: “When we meet a human in person, we develop a different kind of connection,” life coach Alia Jamal explains.
Keep the first date quick: Chloe Carmichael says, “Your first date should never go for more than 90 minutes.”
Take breaks: Lue says to be mindful of when you're tapped out on the apps, and not to wait until you feel super burnt out to take a break. Breaks can help bring you back with a fresh perspective and a new jolt of excitement.
Focus on the person as a whole: Jamal recommends focusing on what the person is looking for and what they offer as a whole, rather than immediately placing them into a specific category based on looks or their brief profile resume.
Dating & longevity
Longevity is always top of mind at mindbodygreen—and dating plays a larger role in this than you might think. Studies have shown social isolation increases all-cause mortality by about 33%1, and loneliness is linked to lower health literacy and other health concerns2.
A 2023 study found a direct correlation between loneliness and cognitive decline3. When used with intention, dating apps can be a great way to bring connection into your life, thereby enhancing your well-being and improving your longevity.
FAQ
Where do introverts meet people?
Anywhere! Introverts can meet people on dating apps, at the grocery store, or even at work. Meeting people is less about finding the “best” place, and more about finding the place that is the best for you. If you are unsure where to start try the big three (Tinder, Bumble, Hinge), where there are tons of potential matches.
How do introverts start dating?
There is no right or wrong way to start dating, but a good first step is to download an app and make a profile. You can’t meet people if you are not going to where the people are.
Is Bumble good for introverts?
While some women prefer Bumble because it gives them the freedom to message first and potentially avoid unwanted contact, it could be less enticing for introverts who do not want to make the first move.
Is dating harder for introverts?
It definitely can be! Social introverts may struggle to connect with people who crave constant attachment, while thinking introverts can come off as standoffish to potential partners. Anxious introverts may seem nervous, while restrained introverts tend to be guarded.
These traits can all make it harder to connect—but it’s definitely not impossible to date as an introvert. If dating seems hard, remember that the process can be tough for most people, including extroverts.
The takeaway
Dating comes with its own struggles for everyone, but there are a few simple steps that can help introverts enjoy it more. For starters, find an app that meets your specific needs, and one that you feel comfortable using.
Most importantly, trust yourself throughout the process. And, once you're ready to meet someone in real life, try using these conversation starters from a dating coach to kickstart the connection.
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